Get Focused
I’ve been reviewing Ryan Holiday’s book Ego Is The Enemy and one concept that stands out to me is the Greek notion of euthymia. Holiday notes that euthymia, which often is translated as “tranquility” in English, for the Greeks meant having a sense of your own path and having the awareness and skills not to get distracted and lose your way. He writes:
“...it’s not about beating the other guy. It’s not about having more than the others. It’s about being what you are, and being as good as possible at it, without succumbing to all the things that draw you away from it. It’s about going where you set out to go. About accomplishing the most you’re capable of in what you choose. That’s it. No more and no less.”
The translation of “tranquility” makes sense to me in this context. If you know who you are and have a singular focus on what matters most, you are free. Every day in our modern culture we encounter an onslaught of information that prompts us to prioritize and value hundreds if not thousands of things that will “make our life better.” Distraction has almost become our normal way of life. And our willingness to be distracted equals big money for those who know how to exploit it. Distraction is not an easy burden to lay down. Our brains LOVE distraction. They can even get addicted to it.
This means that if we are going to cultivate our own sense of euthymia, we will need to get focused and learn to spend our energy on the few things that truly matter. It will require us to become dead serious about our own path. We must also accept our limits and commit to only a few things. The more we pile on our plate, the less chance we have of becoming excellent at the few things that really matter.
I remember a standup bit from comedian Aziz Ansari where he was ribbing his friends in committed relationships for their apparent lack of freedom. Being single himself, he quipped … “All of my options are still options.”
While kinda funny, the truth is that growth requires commitment. And commitment requires that you say “No” to many other things. You obviously need to say no to harmful, destructive, or distracting things, but you also need to say no to good things. Even good things can get in the way of euthymia because whether we like it or not, we cannot be all things to all people all of the time. It’s impossible. The best we can hope for is doing a few things well. Or you might choose to do many things half-assed, but that won’t really satisfy your soul.
My hunch, if you’re at all like me, is that you likely have unrealistic expectations for yourself …
You want to do well in your career. You want to thrive in family relationships. You want to explore your hobbies. You want to relax and do self-care. You want to crush your fitness and financial goals. You want to contribute to your kids' PTA. You want to serve your church or faith community. You want to be well-versed in politics and history. You want to keep up with your local sports teams. You want to understand the latest fashion trends. You want to establish holistic health practices. You want to be good at yoga. You want to excel at writing. You want to be a confident public speaker. You want to be competent at playing an instrument. You want to travel to fancy places. You want to speak a foreign language. You want to be and do so many things.
And none of these things are bad. They’re great things. You just can’t do all of it. And if you expect yourself to be able to keep up with all of these things, then you will likely become overwhelmed and end up doing little to nothing at all.
Freedom, tranquility, and peace of mind come from focusing on just a few things and then cutting out the rest. This way, you live a simple life within your limits and give yourself the best shot at having a real impact in the areas that are most important to you.
So, what is your path? What are the few things you truly feel called to embrace? Go all in on these and start saying “No” to the things that get in the way, even if they are good things. It may be uncomfortable saying “No,” but you will protect your path and find more tranquility as you live within your limits. Remember, your limits are a blessing, not a curse. Limits keep you sane. Blowing past them will stress you out.
Here’s to cultivating euthymia.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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