3 Parts of Behavior Change
If you haven’t yet, you need to check out James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. It is filled with wisdom and practical advice on how to improve healthy habits and decrease unhealthy habits. One of my favorite takeaways from the book is his description of the three parts of behavior change. James notes that most people approach behavior change in the following fashion:
I want to lose 15 pounds
So, I will go to the gym daily
Then I will feel really great
We all have likely approached various goals this way. The problem is that we also know how many times this approach hasn’t worked. James notes this is because our three parts of behavior change are in the wrong order. I’ll show you what I mean. In the above example, the three parts of behavior change are 1) Outcome, 2) Process, and 3) Identity. The key issue here is that our sense of self (our identity) is dependent on achieving the outcome and experiencing zero failure in our process, which is unrealistic. We’re doomed to feel like a failure from the start because nobody’s perfect.
Rather, James Clear suggests we flip the order such that it goes…
Identity
Process
Outcome
Here, we lead with identity. We adopt a values-driven sense of identity and practice it first and foremost, even before “working” toward our goal. In his book, Atomic Habits, he gives the example of two people both being offered a cigarette. Each has a goal of not smoking. Person one says, “I’m really trying to quit,” while person two says, “No thanks, I’m not a smoker.” You see how person one is more likely to eventually give in to smoking again because their sense of identity is still allowing for it - they are “trying to quit.” Whereas person two has a much stronger boundary as they don’t see themselves as a smoker anymore. This doesn’t mean person two is any less tempted than person one; it just means they’ve landed on a clear identity.
After adopting a values-centered identity, we start building small sustainable processes that align with our identity. If we take the above goal of losing weight, our identity might become, “I am a person who moves their body.” Then, a sustainable process could look like, “I will move my body for 10 minutes daily.” Will ten minutes of daily movement alone likely help you lose 15 pounds? Probably not, but the key is to change your default systems of behavior such that they start to work for you rather than against you. Once you see that 10 minutes daily is really pretty doable, you are much more likely to up your game and tweak your process. Over time, you might add a few more minutes to your routine, include a couple of days of weight training, maybe go to the gym, get a trainer, or pay attention to what you eat. You now have a positive habit cycle that is like compounding interest. The key is to start with small, consistent behaviors.
And what is most important is that your identity is no longer dependent on achieving your outcome or sticking perfectly to your process. “I am a person who moves their body” is a pretty flexible sense of identity. Let’s say you miss one day of intentional 10 minutes of movement. No big deal. You likely walked around your house or lugged in bags of groceries from your car. Bingo, bango. Your identity is still intact. Furthermore, every time you follow through with a behavior that aligns with your identity, it feels good. And you will want to do more of it.
Finally, when it comes to overall outcomes, like losing 15 pounds, it is not bad to have a clear goal in mind, but it must be kept in the appropriate order. When the three parts of behaviors change flow like this - Identity > Process > Outcome, many times just following our sense of identity and adopting sustainable processes will eventually lead to the outcomes we desire. However, if we’re not making the progress we’d like to see, that is an opportunity to reflect on the following two questions:
Is this goal in line with my identity?
If so, what do I need to change in my process to get there?
So, think of an area of your life where you’d like to make some progress. Then, start by forming a value-centered identity. That could be: “I’m a runner,” “I budget my money,” “I am an intentional spouse/partner,” etc. And rehearse this identity. Once you have a sense of your identity, start building your process by implementing small, sustainable behaviors that align with it. Finally, release the outcome and let your identity and process do most of the work. If you eventually feel like you’re not making the progress you want, return to your identity and process to see if they are leading you toward your desired outcomes. If not, make some tweaks and get back to work.
Here’s to forming more identity-driven habits.
Happy to be in your corner
Tom Page, LCPC
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