3 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty
Chances are pretty good that you have recently heard people lamenting about living in such uncertain times. Perhaps you feel the weight of uncertainty yourself. Many people wonder: Is my job stable? Is my health OK? What will another election season bring? Will the economy bottom out? Is there a bright future for my kids? Is disaster right around the corner?
Uncertainty seems to be rampant. I know I’ve experienced these kinds of stressors, too, so I know how overwhelming it can feel. Paying attention to our stress is important because it directly impacts our overall health and longevity. Dr. Gabor Maté, in his book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Health in a Toxic Culture, suggests that many stress-inducing factors, largely societal, are contributing to our overall lack of wellness. One of these factors is financial uncertainty. Maté writes that losing multiple jobs has just as much of a negative impact on health outcomes as tobacco, alcohol, and hypertension. He goes even further to say that the mere fear of losing your job can be as detrimental to your health as actually losing your job. This is not wishy-washy social commentary; his insights come from hard data. But when our own fears might be creating stress, what are we to do?
Financial uncertainty and other stressors like it are certainly noteworthy, but another issue worth pondering is our collective relationship with uncertainty. We live as if the world ought not to be filled with uncertainty, but those are unrealistic expectations. Thinking this way will drive you crazy. It’s like trying to count your way to infinity and expecting to actually “arrive” at infinity - you won’t ever reach a satisfying conclusion because that’s just not how it works. Uncertainty is a reality; there is no workaround. In my own life, rather than accepting that uncertainty, I would cause myself more suffering by fighting against it. Anytime something went wrong or differently than I expected, I would get worked up and spiral mentally and emotionally. But fighting against ourselves just makes things worse. If your body fights against itself, you have an immune system issue. If your family fights against itself, you have hurt, discord, and deep sadness. When communities fight against one another, we grab power and perhaps even go to war. When we fight against ourselves on any level - personal, relational, societal - we set the stage for illness.
To reclaim our serenity and protect our mental and physical health, we must change our mindset regarding uncertainty. This is paramount because it is the singular thing that is most in our control.
Here are three ways to change your mindset about uncertainty:
Accept uncertainty as NORMAL. We have much less control over our lives than we like to think. We are not totally out of control, but nothing is guaranteed in this life, and we must accept that. Practicing acceptance allows us not to get bogged down when difficulties arise. Rather than getting in a “woe is me” headspace when things don’t go our way, we understand that this is just part of life, so we roll up our sleeves and say, “OK, what can I do about it?” And then, if there is an opportunity to act, we do it. We need to take uncertainty less personally.
Choose your meaning. The meaning you make out of difficult circumstances goes a long way to cultivating wellness. This is a power that nobody can take away from you. Even if you are unjustly imprisoned, you can decide what meaning you are going to make of it. I’m not saying this is easy, but I’m saying this way of thinking is something to strive for. If you are struggling to make ends meet financially, what story are you telling yourself? That things never go your way, and you’re doomed to failure? Or could it be that you have an opportunity to show your kids how to be resilient and peaceful in the face of hardships? The facts are the same. How you relate to them is up to you.
Do what you can. Figure out what matters most to you and then act on it. For example, if you hate your soul-sucking job, then for God’s sake, do something about it and get out of there. In another part of The Myth of Normal, Gabor Maté notes that not having a job (while not ideal) is statistically less stressful than being stuck in a job that is actively destroying you. If you can change your mindset and relate to your current work environment in a new way that is meaningful to you, then great, make the most of it, and keep rolling. If not, do what you can and make a change. You will have uncertainty either way, so you might as well choose the best option that is most in line with your values.
Here’s to accepting uncertainty.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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