Gratitude Is the Gateway to Joy
Happy Thanksgiving week! It’s a perfect time to talk about how gratitude is a gateway to joy.
Gratitude for what we already have is helpful because it allows us to experience the joy of life right now, rather than postponing it until our life is somehow different. Dwelling on what we don’t have is pretty common for many of us, but it causes unnecessary suffering. The more you focus on your perceived lack, and then combine that with your perceived lack of power to affect change, and you have a nice recipe for hopelessness.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with working to change your situation if you desire something different in life, but hold the outcome loosely. Anytime you find yourself thinking If only I had XYZ then I’d be happy… you’re creating more unnecessary suffering.
Gratitude is the gateway to joy. When we focus on what we do have, our mindset shifts from one of scarcity to abundance. Focusing on what we don’t have makes us feel more isolated, different, and incapable. But gratitude reminds us of just how connected we really are. And connection - be that to ourselves, others, God, or the world around us - fosters joy.
One of my favorite gratitude practices, which I’ve mentioned before, is something I call the gratitude game. You simply pick something - a person, place, or thing- and you start listing specific characteristics you appreciate about that thing. Then, you note what associations, memories, or other points of gratitude naturally come to mind. You end up with a lovely web of appreciation. I’ll do this on the fly right now as I’m writing this …
For example, I am sitting at my dining room table, and in front of me is a vase filled with flowers. The vase itself is simple yet beautiful hand-thrown pottery. I like how it seems stylistically both rustic and modern. The oatmeal and light brown shades feel inviting. The flowers, displaying various yellows, greens, pinks, and blues, pop in contrast to the earth tones. I enjoy fresh-cut flowers because they remind me that life is worth celebrating - that it’s good to enjoy simple beauties just for the sake of it. The flowers bring to mind my youngest daughter, who suggested we bring them home from the grocery store. She is a deep, creative, and big-hearted kid who loves anything “fancy.” Her name is Eden. She is like a beautiful garden. And like these flowers, she adds so much color to our lives. I remember that she was tired and a bit cranky this morning as she left for school. I find myself wandering in my mind to imagine where she is and how she is doing. I send prayers of comfort her way. I look forward to scooping her up and asking her about her day when I get home from seeing clients tonight.
I could go on and on. But do you see how by slowing down just a little and naming specific things, I appreciate that it led me to other meaningful associations? Gratitude opens and elevates your perspective.
But here’s the kicker …
The entire universe is made of these joyful associations. Connectedness is our ultimate reality.
We are connected to nearly an infinite number of things all the time. Every breath and step we take is interdependent on a zillion other things. But we can become blind to our connectedness — maybe due to hurts, disappointments, or just being trained by culture to always need something we don’t yet have because that keeps the economy running.
Gratitude helps us become aware of what already is. We are not adding anything new. Through gratitude, we are reawakened to the wonder of life. We are reminded that we are a part of the whole. And when we experience connectedness, joy is a natural effect. Joy is the felt sense — the resonance — of connectedness. It’s like running your finger along the top of a wine glass, and it starts to sing. The sound doesn’t exist on its own. It is evidence of the relationship between your finger and the glass - a result of connection.
In a similar way, when we practice gratitude, we reconnect with the bigger picture, and our inner world starts to sing.
So, take some time to practice the gratitude game this week. It may be a gateway to experiencing more joy in your life.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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