Play The Gratitude Game
I don’t know about you, but I can tend to have a glass-half-empty outlook on life. Perhaps it’s just personality or influence from my family of origin, but my default way of seeing things has often been to notice what was missing. I’d notice (and obsess over) things that were broken, imperfect, off, lacking, or unfair. It’s not surprising that my feelings followed this distorted reality where nothing was right, beautiful, or good enough, and sometimes I’d slump into sadness, hurt, and a strong victim mentality.
Woof.
I’ve worked really hard to change how I see things. For years now I’ve been practicing the mantra - “Nothing is missing” in order to try and rewire my brain. And it’s been working (slowly). More often than not, these days I’m able to be grateful for what is rather than freak out over what isn’t. There are still things that are hard to deal with where I might descend into a mini scarcity spiral, but I now have tools to help me come back to my right mind.
One of those tools is The Gratitude Game. It goes like this:
Pick any random object around you and then start naming things you are grateful for that come to mind, and then as more associations come to mind, keep going and see how far your gratitude can expand through a simple object.
For example: As I’m writing this, to my left is my coffee cup. As I look at it, I’m grateful for this cup as it holds my coffee and comforts me. I’m grateful for the floral pattern and various colors on the exterior. One flower is a bright shade of blue, which pops in contrast to the other warm colors on the cup. I like that. I’m reminded that this cup was given to us by my wife’s family, and I’m grateful for their presence in my life. Their generosity and my own parents’ generosity has been a huge blessing in my life. These people have shared their time, talents, and treasure all for the sake of seeing me and my family thrive. I’m grateful for my wife and two daughters. They are a wonder. They are kind, wise, hardworking, funny and an absolute blast to be around. I am grateful that I get to be a husband and a father. Nothing else in life has forced me to confront my own crap and learn how to show up as a better person. It is a joy to be a daddy and it is a joy to share life with my wife, Blakely. She is a true partner and my best friend.
And on and on and I could go… See how I started with naming simple facts about my coffee cup, but soon that grew into an awareness of other things that are also lovely, good, and true? Goodness runs deep in the world. It is not scarce. You just need eyes to see it. Once you start seeing with new, grateful eyes, your perspective on life will change, your heart will feel a bit lighter, and even the mundane might feel like magic.
You can play this gratitude game with anything - a pen, a sock, a plant, your dog, a quarter, junk mail, etc. The key is practice. Pick something and start playing with gratitude!
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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