What Will You Choose?
As a trained mental health therapist, I think it is vital to spend time exploring our past so that we can grow in self-awareness and learn how to show up differently in the present. However, I think it is also possible for us to get stuck analyzing the past. It’s like we think if we dig deep enough we’ll eventually uncover that one hidden rock that will somehow change everything. But in reality, we’re just digging for the sake of digging because we don’t know what else to do.
At this point, I believe we are faced with a choice. How will we choose to live right now?
Will we choose to be happy? Will we choose trust? Will we choose surrender? Will we choose to live our values? Will we choose to put down our walls? Will we choose to risk again?
After working with people in various forms of recovery for the past decade or so, I’ve encountered an odd phenomenon that I can’t explain, nor has anyone else been able to explain it to me. What I’m talking about is the moment when one person, lost in their addiction and denial, abruptly starts doing their work and commits to getting their life back.
When I ask people what it was that finally got their attention, to a person, they answer with some form of “I’m not really sure. I just knew that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Some of these folks previously endured major personal, family, financial, and career setbacks due to their behavior, yet those things didn’t move the needle. It’s hard to fathom.
But the key idea here is that they made a choice. They decided they were done with the old way and accepted whatever they needed to do to move forward.
If you’re feeling stuck in some way in your own life, I can imagine that you might push back and say, “But Tom! It’s not that easy.”
I get that. I’ve felt that way. Still do sometimes. But I’m starting to think that choosing who I want to be right now in the present might be easier than I assume.
However, it doesn’t mean that what follows that choice is clear or easy. The road to recovery is full of challenges, but in my opinion, recovery work isn’t any harder than being lost in dysfunction. I’d say recovery is a lot easier. Different, but easier.
Making a choice to be happy, hopeful, honest, trusting, courageous, content, or whatever isn’t a one-time deal. It’s a habit that we must practice over and over again. The first choice is where a new possibility opens up. Each subsequence choice makes the dream a reality.
It’s good to dive deep into your story, necessary even. But at some point, you will need to decide how you’re going to live right now.
So, what are you going to choose? How do you want to live today?
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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