Change Your Habits by Using FRICTION
In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear teaches that all habits have a pattern to them:
Cue -> Craving -> Response -> Reward
And the way to strengthen helpful habits and decrease unhelpful ones has to do with friction. Friction is about how easy or difficult it is for you to move through the cycle of Cue, Craving, Response, Reward.
Strong habits have been reinforced over time such that the cycle is almost mindless. This can be helpful or unhelpful. A jazz pianist doesn’t want to relearn scales and music theory in the middle of a performance. They want those habits to stick so they can build off of them. That’s helpful. But a person with addictive behavior is desperate to find a way to protect themselves and others from their destructive defaults, because they are very unhelpful.
Habit formation isn’t good or bad. It just is what it is.
If you want to strengthen a habit you need to decrease friction. Meaning, you need to set up your environment so that you will encounter a Cue more easily. For example, if you struggle to go for a run in the morning, you might try placing your running shoes and work out clothes by the edge of the bed. This will decrease habit friction by making the Cue more probable. The key isn’t straining to get better, but rather establishing a noticeable cue - more running will follow naturally.
On the other hand, if you want to quit a habit you need to increase friction. Meaning, you need to set up your environment so that it will be more difficult to encounter a Cue. Let’s take my default habit of scanning the cabinets for snacks late at night when I’m bored. I seriously don’t even realize I’m doing it. I return to the same cabinet over and over, thinking surely something tasty will magically appear this time! Absolute lunacy. And it’s a habit.
In order to lessen my late night snacking habit, I need to increase friction, which can be internal or external. Internal friction has to do with self-awareness. For example, I decided to repurpose my old habit and create a new Cue for positive behavior. So, now when I reach for the cabinet door (Old habit/New Cue) it prompts me to ask some internal questions: 1) “How am I feeling”? 2) “Do I really want something to eat”? By increasing my internal friction, I’m getting a new result - less late night numbing of my emotions with food.
Another option when you want to quit a habit is to increase your external friction. External friction is about access. If you can’t access what you want to quit, it’s a lot easier to avoid the default habit cycle. This is simple yet few people really do it. For example, if I didn’t want snacks available at all, I’d simply not stock my cabinets with junk food. Or I’d store them in an inconvenient place like the basement. When using external friction, you’re functionally making it more difficult to access the old habit cycle.
Examples:
On your phone too much? Set a self-determined curfew for your phone (internal friction). Or create a consistent spot for it at home and get it out of your pocket. Or have parental controls shut it down after a certain time. Or get a dumb phone (external friction). You don’t need your smartphone. Nobody will die without their smartphone. Gasp!
Spend too much money at Costco? (Yes, said everyone). Set a budget for yourself (internal friction). If you blow through your budget only take cash or a pre-loaded credit card (external friction). Or stop shopping at Costco. Gasp!
Whatever you’re working on, if you have habits that you’d like to increase or decrease, consider using friction to help you make more progress. You can do this!
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom
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