Choose Your Hard
Whenever you feel stuck and don’t make progress on a goal, it might be common to tell yourself that it’s just “too hard.” On the flipside, you might tell yourself that defaulting to your normal pattern is just “too easy.” I think this is all a matter of perception.
The first key is taking a hard look at how your default behavior is affecting your life. Is it really all that “easy” to remain stuck? No. Often it sucks and the consequences grow as you continue harmful defaults. Seeing the ugly side of your life with clarity can hurt. That’s why you avoid it and forget that what seems “easy” is actually hard in its own way.
That leaves you with a conundrum. When you’re stuck and wanting progress, your options are hard or hard - there is no easy.
The good news is that you get to choose your hard.
You cannot avoid suffering altogether, but you can (to some degree) choose the kind of suffering that will make you into a better person. But improving your life comes at a cost - money, time, effort, fear, doubt, uncertainty, discipline, repeated failure, vulnerability, trusting others, etc. etc. etc.
It’s a tough reality, but you pretty much get what you pay for.
I personally fought against this for a long time and wasted many years waiting for the Universe to unfold some grand plan for my personal satisfaction. I had no skin in the game. And I didn’t know what a gift and opportunity I actually had.
I have a long way to go, but I am finally learning to take responsibility for choosing my version of hard. Trials will come that I have no control over, but I also know that I can lean in and forge my own path. It will come at a cost, but the cost of getting better is nothing compared to the cost of remaining stuck.
So what about you? Are there areas of your life where you keep letting “hard” happen while telling yourself that it’s just “easier” that way? What is the real cost to you if you remain stuck? And what is your opportunity to choose a hard path that might create some positive change?
I’m not trying to make light of the difficulties you might face. I am trying to help you see that you cannot avoid hardship; that the “easy vs. hard” stories you tell yourself are only a perception, and that accepting this reality will empower you to choose the kind of hard work that fosters personal growth.
The best stories are ones where the hero overcomes difficult obstacles. Why would you want your story to be any different?
Don’t sit back anymore. Get some skin in the game. Decide what you want and start working at it. I’ll be out there hacking away with you.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom
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