Mind Your Relationships
Did you know that our minds are formed in relationships? It’s true. There is no such thing as a solitary human mind. From the time we are in the womb our minds begin to be shaped by our relationships. We in turn, shape others too. How you understand yourself and the world around you is a product of your relationships. Especially your early, formative ones.
Here’s how Dan Siegel says it in his book Mindsight: “Relationships are the way we share energy and information flow, and it is this sharing that shapes, in part, how the flow is regulated. Our minds are created within relationships - including the one we have with ourselves.”
Who we are today - for better or worse - has been and is continually shaped by relationships. If we are to grow into the healthiest version of ourselves, it would benefit us to be mindful of our relationships. Wellbeing is associated with the neurobiological concept of integration. Meaning, the more balanced, harmonious, and interconnected we are with ourselves and others, the more wellbeing we tend to experience.
Our distress and disease as humans might stem from the disintegration of the connections between mind-brain-body. These neurobiological “disconnections” might also be a mirror of our relational disconnections. In order to heal, we need relational practices that can reform us over time.
How would you describe your default mental state? Do you feel comfortable with how you deal with yourself, others, and the challenges that life brings your way?
If you notice an opportunity for growth, welcome to being human! We’re in this together. If we want to see change, we will need to adopt some intentional practices. Simply noticing a problem is not the same as dealing with it. Check out the lists below and note one or two practices that you can commit to working on.
10 suggestions for cultivating a relationship with yourself
Know your values
Care for your physical body
Practice meditation
Engage in self-reflection
Develop boundaries
Grow your emotional vocabulary
Prioritize gratitude
Plan your day(s)
Keep learning
Ask for help
10 suggestions for cultivating relationships with others
Participate in group activities
Initiate with others, don’t wait around
Practice curiosity
Show empathy
Share appreciation
Allow vulnerability (as feels safe to do so)
Speak with love and honesty
Learn relational repair
Make time for play and hobbies
Serve others, be generous
Pick one or two practices and start working on them. If you want to become more integrated in your own mind-body-brain connections, you will need to mind your relationships. You can do this!
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom
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