Take heart! You’re not special.
Sometimes, I need a little reminder that I’m not special.
I need to remember that I’m not entitled to get what I want when I want it. I need to remember that the sun shines on both moral and immoral people. I need to remember that I, too, have shortcomings. I need to remember that nothing is guaranteed. I need to remember that I’m not better or worse than anybody else. I need to remember that I am not immune to suffering.
I’m unsure how it happens, but I sometimes find myself in a headspace, thinking I should be more “special” than I feel. Maybe it’s the stories I grew up with where one forgettable character is suddenly called by fate into a heroic journey (e.g., Luke Skywalker). Perhaps it’s due to growing up as a Millenial and being told, “You can do anything!” yet being taught how to do very little. I haven’t pinned it down. However, what I do know for sure is that thinking I should be something other than I am results in a feeling of discontent.
And discontent essentially means I’m not happy with my present situation. Things must change for me to be content.
This is such a common trap for me to fall into that I have to keep tabs on it. Of course, sometimes, we are in situations where we want to see change. There is nothing wrong with working to change our circumstances. But if you think changing your circumstances will magically help you feel more content, that’s misleading.
Contentment comes when we accept ourselves just as we are.
We must let go of the narrative that we’re somehow missing something in life - that our life should look different or more grand. Contentment is about living in the here and now, enjoying the people and resources we do have, rather than obsessing over what we don’t have.
When we live in a state of contentment, we understand that we are enough, worthy of love, creative, and capable. We do not lack anything that truly matters.
So, if you need to hear it today, here it goes …
You are not special. And you don’t need to become special. You’re in the same boat as everybody else. And that’s good news. You don’t have to be someone else or accomplish something else to find contentment. There is nothing to prove. Relax and take a breath. You are enough, just as you are. Yes, you should tend to your responsibilities. But consider this advice I shared with a client recently, “Keep your hands on the steering wheel, but loosen your grip a little.”
It’s a reminder that I need often—enjoy the ride. My life is now, here in this moment, not tomorrow or in some future reality where everything is better. I don’t need to be anything more; I just need to be present. That’s where the magic is.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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