The Art of Letting Go
We don’t grow our Spirituality by hustling to add more to our lives. True Spirituality is about letting go, and often, letting go can feel like death.
There is a quote by 14th-century mystic Meister Eckhart that goes: “God is not found in the soul by adding anything, but by a process of subtraction.” This sentiment also seems to be found in Jesus’s teaching in the Gospel of John, where he says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. Those who love their life in this world will lose it.”
Unfortunately, religion has not always led us to true spirituality. Instead, religion tends to be about dictating right vs. wrong, gaining influence, and holding power. True spirituality is available to anyone, religious or not, but it is not for the faint of heart. It requires surrender to a reality larger than your own.
What are you having a hard time letting go of? Take a moment to name it.
Are you having a hard time letting go of worrying about your career, controlling your kids behavior, the political climate, managing your finances, longing for that perfect relationship, wishing you had a bigger and better house, dealing with in-laws, more money, more free time, etc.? These are not inherently bad things, they just won’t satisfy in and of themselves.
When we learn to let go, we find that we are enough as we are. We take ourselves and our circumstances a little less seriously. We loosen our grip on life. We don’t have anything to prove to be worthy. We smile more. We understand that things come and things go. We make the most of the moment and release the rest. We stop hustling for that thing that will make us feel OK. We practice radical acceptance of ourselves, others and our circumstances. We release control of what is not ours to control, and we focus on what is right in front of us and make the most of it.
If you are having a hard time letting go of something. Try practicing this little mantra…
“I am choosing to let go of _______ (fill in the blank). And I am choosing to trust that there is enough for today.”
Say it to yourself as often as you need to. Anytime you’re feeling worked up.
Of course there will be parts of you that don’t believe this at all. That’s normal. The key is in the practice — the active shaping of your mind. The more we practice letting go, the easier it gets. Sure, you can keep clutching whatever it is you’re afraid of or desiring … or you can surrender it. But this is a tough bargain. On one hand, if you keep clutching the thing that makes you miserable, you will continue to feel miserable. However, on the other hand, if you let it go, it may feel like every fiber of your being is resisting you, and it may feel like a death. There is suffering either way.
The good news is that when one thing dies, something new is born in its place. For folks familiar with 12-step, that “new thing” is sometimes called Serenity. Jesus might have called it the Kingdom of God. Others might call it mindfulness or whole-hearted living. Whatever you call it, once you’ve experienced the peace of mind that comes with serenity, you want more of it (although we all lapse back into control from time to time).
So, today, I’m inviting you to cultivate the art of letting go. It might not feel great on the front end, but I believe that a continual practice of surrender is the only way to experience lasting peace of mind.
May you have a rich harvest of all that is good, true, and beautiful.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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